Charlie Bucket's Field Trip:
by CoralSnakeUSA
Summary: With Willy Wonka's Permission Charlie Bucket Condcts a second tour of the Chocolate factory for the purpose of entrapping and punishing four of his school's worst bullies.
1. Chapter 1

Charlie Bucket's Field Trip:

Note - This takes place after Charlie's stay in the Junior Woodchucks' and Scrooge McDuck's protective custody in the Duckburg world as far as the Pinocchio series continuity is concerned. In the Pinocchio series he is still under Junior Woodchuck and Scrooge McDuck protective custody.

Chapter 1, Charlie's Silver Tickets:

It was not every day one saw a Wonka truck park in front of the school yard to let a student out. However this student was Charlie Bucket, the apprentice, co-owner and eventual heir of the Wonka Industries factory and fortune. Even though Willy Wonka was no longer keeping Charlie in undisclosed locations because of it the danger of Veruca Salt's, Arthur Slugworth's and the Black Triangle's plots against him was still ever present so Willy demanded as much protection for him as possible. Hence the use of Wonka trucks to transport him between the factory and school. While Veruca Salt depended on Vermicious Knids (the name Willy Wonka gave to the former Pleasure Island Minions now working for Veruca Salt) to do her factory work at Salt's Nuts she did have out of the factory employees, mainly from the Mafia and assorted "spook" agencies tied into the Black triangle who were willing to implement any outside the factory schemes against Charlie that her "bad nut" brain might conjure up. Not only that but a lot of children in the school were tied to the Salts and the Slugworths in some way. This led to a lot of bullying where Charlie was concerned. There were four particular bullies that were particularly rough on Charlie. These were.

Barrigan P. Salt, A male cousin of Veruca Salt and just as much of a "bad nut" as her cousin. Like Veruca he was highly well known for his arrogance and attitude of superiority over others tied to his own membership in the Black triangle even including teachers like the Math and Science teacher Mr. Turkentine who was presumed to be of Charlie Bucket's "inferior" class.

Collin Ridley, A well known "potty mouth" and hallway lunch money mugger bully. (Author's note - During this story we will be using various censorship symbols and words for much of this character's vocabulary in order to keep things within the G / K rating requirements.)

Joseph Tedler, Known to be the son of a prominent Slugworth employee, Roland Tedler, Vice President in Charge of External Affairs for Slugworth Chocolates inc. Specializes in practical jokes and other types of "sneak attacks" in his bullying.

Daniel Freidler, A track and field star who constantly tripped other runners including Charlie in order to win running races during the school's physical education classes.

Needless to say these four were also the school's prominent detention collectors and seemed to spend more of their recess and after school time in classrooms or the detention section of the administration office that out. They were also considered a royal headache to the teachers and administrators of the school.

Charlie bucket left the passenger side of the truck dressed in what looked to be a Willy Wonka type coat but with a Civilian ship's officer visor cap rather than a top hat. Once in the school yard he did not bother with the recess playground but made his way quietly to the locker room. Once there he removed his wallet, something he had only since he won the Golden Ticket contest. He opened it and inside were five more tickets, only this time they were not gold but pure shiny silver. Charlie decided to use silver tickets for what his favorite teacher Mr. Turkentine, Willy Wonka and himself had in mind for the four bullies. The fifth silver ticket was for Melenie Halverson a girl who was also frequently picked on by the bullies and one that Charlie quite frankly liked a lot. Therefore Charlie decided that she had a right to be a part of the new proceedings at Willy's and his candy factory.

Charlie carefully placed the five tickets in the appropriate lockers and was finished just as the class bell rang. With that Charlie headed directly for Mr. Turkentine's classroom.

Needless to say the four bullies were already in Mr. Turkentine's room serving another of their assorted detentions. The arrogant Barrigan P. Salt seemed to lead the group. "He will soon be more high and mighty then he ever could have imagined." Charlie thought about the Veruca Salt related leader of the bullies.

Then there was foul mouthed Collin Ridley with a roll of duct tape on his desk which was clearly a threat from Mr. Turkentine to seal his mouth if he continued to use profanity in class. "I think that Mr. Wonka's father has something far more effective than that duct tape for Mr. Ridley's filth mouth problems." Charlie continued in thought.

Next was Daniel the tripper as Daniel Freidler was called. "The next race you try to cheat at will end in a big surprise for you." Charlie thought.

Finally there was Joseph Tedler, the son of the Slugworth executive Roland Tedler. His thing was practical jokes and other sneak attack bullying. "Well we will see how you respond to the ultimate sneak attack designed by one of my best friends from the pervious golden ticket tour that he, myslef and Mr. Wonka put together." Charlie continued in thought

Once his thoughts were finished regarding the bullies Charlie took off his Wonka coat revealing his full First Officer's uniform for the Wonkatania and took his normal seat beside Melenie Halverson's. The golden joined WW symbols on both the cap and the shirt shined even more brilliantly in the classroom's overhead lights.

When Mr. Turkentine entered the room he Immediately announced.

"Before we begin today's lesson in percentages Charlie Bucket has a special announcement and this is why the school is tolerating him looking like a walking commercial for that factory he co owns with Mr. Wonka for today, Charlie."

Charlie went to the front of the room and made his announcement. "This concerns a second tour of the Wonka factory that Mr. Wonka personally gave me his permission to conduct. Like the last time this tour which will take the form of a School Field trip is for only five kids and all five kids are in this class. Five silver tickets have been placed in the lockers of those who have been chosen for this field trip. However this time you will not be taking any parents with you. Mr. Turkentine has graciously accepted the position of guardianship for all five of the silver ticket recipients. A Wonka delivery truck is waiting outside the schoolyard at this very minute for the transport of the silver ticket recipients and to the factory the rest of you are going to have a substitute teacher. I know that you usually need signed permission slips for a field trip but Mr. Wonka and Mr. Turkentine have already taken care of that detail by contacting the parents of the five kids involved before the Silver Tickets were printed."

"Thank you Charlie." Mr. Turkentine said and then said. "Class, you may now go to your lockers and see if you have one of the Silver Tickets. "Those who do will accompany Charlie and I to the Wonka truck out front. Those who do not will get their arithmetic books and wait for the substitute teacher for this period's lesson."

The class filed out of the classroom and opened their lockers. The five who found silver tickets were the four detention gathering bullies, Barrigan P. Salt, Collin Ridley, Joseph Tedler, Daniel Freidler, and the girl that nearly everyone suspected was Charlie's girlfriend Melenie Halverson.

"What's this all about." Daniel Freidler whispered to Barrigan P. Salt.

"My guess is some kind of revenge scheme cooked up by the Bucket brat, Willy Wonka and Mr. Turkentine." Barrigan returned, also in a whisper. "As you know my cousin Veruca has been through one of these so called "tours" and "field trips" that Wonka sets up, the original Golden Ticket tour in fact. Just don't touch or eat any thing in Wonka's and Bucket's house of horrors and you should be okay."

"You can bet I'm not touching a (blanketyheck *!(%#)% censored +!&%*!^$#&*$) thing in that place." Collin Ridley said momentarily forgetting about Mr. Turkentine's duct tape.

The party was escorted to the Wonka truck which had a ramp extending from its open back. "We will find seating in the back of the truck as it was outfitted to function as a temporary bus." Mr. Turkentine told the four bullies. "Melenie will accompany Charlie in the front.

Once she was inside the truck with Charlie Melenie was rather shocked to see who the driver was. It was a rather orange colored man with green hair about half her size for whom the driver's position had to be rebuilt, an Oompa Loompa.

"You don't have to worry about the Oompa Loompas." Charlie told Melenie. "They are very nice to people who are nice to them in return. However with those who AREN'T they can be very mischievous and full of songs and jokes. I think we are going to be hearing a lot of songs today. By the way I think its about time I look in on my other guests."

Charlie pushed a button on the passenger side dashboard and an LCD screen slid up form it. "Closed circuit television." Charlie told Melenie. "The system was installed in all Wonka trucks and factory rooms by one of the Golden Ticket winners, Mike Teavee who is very good at that sort of thing. We will be seeing a lot more of his work during the field trip."

"Are you sure that you should be spying on the others?" Melenie asked Charlie.

"Certainly." Charlie answered. "Some of those kids are tied to the Salts and Slugworths and would like nothing better than to spy on or sabotage this truck or some part of the factory therefore Willy and I will be keeping our own special eye on them during the field trip."

"But Mr. Turkentine is here to prevent any such activity isn't he?" Melenie asked.

"Yes," Charlie answered. "But he can't be everywhere at once. The closed circuit TV system can."

"Just one more question." Melenie asked. "I really don't understand why you picked those four for a factory tour. They are detention gathering bullies and tied in with the Salts and the Slugworths. In a way the remind me of the four kids that accompanied you on the original Golden Ticket tour."

"I think you got the idea." Charlie returned. "Because of all the bullying those four have done to us Mr. Turkentine and Mr. Wonka have arranged for me to be able to deal with them in my own home environment the chocolate factory using the method he used on the four original kids that did not win the golden ticket tour."

"You mean there are traps in there to test their characters and punish them if they fail the test again?" Melenie asked.

"Yes," Charlie returned. "But you don't have to worry about them, none of them are set up for you."

"Then why was I given a Silver Ticket?" Melenie asked.

"Two reasons." Charlie returned. "1, I like you. 2, You were under attack from these four bullies too and I felt you should be in on seeing them get their just "desserts" so to speak. However you must not tell them anything. Just present yourself as a member of the field trip with no knowledge of what will actually be going on."

The truck entered the factory grounds through the now open great gates which closed once it was through.

Charlie left the truck first and entered the factory by one of the three small doors that were built into the two main doors. Soon his voice could be heard over the same horn intercom system that was used during the Golden Ticket tour. "You may now leave the truck and come to the main doors."

Once the five kids and Mr. Turkentine arrived at the factory main doors they opened to reveal a candy background similar to the one Willy Wonka used on the Golden Ticket tour. Only this time live Oompa Loompas and not mechanical puppets were performing the welcome show both instrumentally and vocally.

Charlie Bucket Charlie Bucket,

Our Apprentice chocolateer.

Charlie Bucket Charlie Bucket,

He's the one we love so dear.

Hooray!

He's, honest clever and so smart.

He really can't restrain it.

With so much generosity,

There is no way to contain it.

To contain, to contain, to containnnnn!

Hooray!, Wheee!

Charlie Bucket, Charlie Bucket,

He's the one you are about to meet.

Charlie Bucket, Charlie Bucket,

The apprentice who just can't be beat.

This factory's next chocolate whiz,

Best little boy who ever lived!

Charlie Bucket, here he IS!

At this point Charlie appeared behind the show still dressed in his first officers Uniform for the Wonkataina but now with a top hat similar to Willy Wonka's and a purple vest over the shirt.

"Welcome to the Wonka Industries factory, Mr. Turkentine and company." Charlie announced.

"Get on with it, you little (&%&#^$ blanketyheck $&*%^& cookoobird *%^#!&^%#$ censored)". Collin Ridley shouted.

"Sorry Collin," Charlie returned. "But Mr. Wonka does not allow that kind of language in the factory. I will have to insist that Mr. Turkentine duct tape your mouth if you keep it up from here on in. Okay, now lets get moving, we have a lot to see today."

With that the kids and Mr. Turkentine following Charlie passed the show stage and entered the long corridor leading to the Chocolate Room. (Charlie dropped the fireworks from the welcome show this time because of the use of live persons in it rather than puppets). Melenie quickly assumed a position to the side of Charlie with the four boys and Mr. Turkentine following.

Barrigan suddenly reminded Charlie. "I remember this corridor well from what Veruca told me. It leads to the Chocolate Room and the chocolate river where Augustus Gloop was removed from the contest for this factory. Well don't think you are going to drown any of us in your's and Wonka's Chocolate River of doom.

"That can't happen this time." Charlie said. "The Chocolate River must never be touched by human hands and therefore for this field trip it has been fenced off from any access by any of you. It is also known that some of you are tied to the Slugworths and the Salts so that fencing is also designed to prevent any of you from contaminating or poisoning it."

"Do you really think my family would resort to that?" Barrigin snapped.

"If the shoe fits." was Charlie's only answer to Barrigan. He then unlocked and opened the door to the Chocolate Room.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - The Chocolate Room

In many ways the Chocolate room was as Veruca had told him about it in Barrigan's mind. The only new additions were the candy cane fences along the Chocolate River and over its bridges that blocked access to the river at all points accept for the dock for the Wonkatania. Otherwise it was the same room of edibles that Veruca duplicated for Salt's Nuts. Oompa Loompas were busy harvesting the various candies that seemed to grow in the room rather than being manufactured. The chocolate waterfall's gentle roar could be heard in the background. The great glass pipes pumped chocolate from the river to other parts of the factory including the infamous strawberry flavored chocolate coated fudge room where Augustus Gloop spent most of the original Golden Ticket tour as "first boy out".

"All tours begin here, even this field trip as this is the nerve center for the entire factory." Charlie announced. "Everything in this room is eatable and as you can see what is made here is done by a unique artificial growth process is used for a lot of the other candies we sell besides chocolate."

Charlie then continued. "Now the river is hot melted chocolate of the highest quality and the waterfall is very important."

"Why is the waterfall so important?" Mr. Turkentine asked Charlie.

"It mixes and churns the chocolate giving it the light frothy condition that is unique to Wonka bars and boxed chocolates and fudges." Charlie answered. "Now you notice how the other candies in this room appear to grow. This is another unique Wonka manufacturing process. By this pseudo growth process unique to this room candies other than chocolate are made and harvested by the Oompa Loompas on a daily basis for processing, molding and packaging in the in the more conventional rooms of the factory. As you see we have SweeTart mushrooms, the now famous Swudge grass, candy canes, hard candies, conventional gobstoppers, jelly beans, orange slices, lollypops, gummy bears and my favorite in this room. Real apple trees that produce caramel apples."

"Mr. Wonka is really an amazing man to be able to do all of this." Mr. Turkentine said. "But have you contributed anything to the factory's inventory or operation yet Charlie."

"Yes," Charlie answered. "I'm responsible for adding several unique flavors of Junior Woodchuck Taffy to Mr. Wonka's inventory. But that's about it for now. After all I'm new at this. However more contributions have been made by other golden ticket winners when it was decided they should share in the apprenticeship and ownership of the factory in their specialized areas. Mike Teavee is responsible for a lot of the new computer and closed circuit television based observation systems now in the factory as well as our new candy based video game line. Violet Beuregarde has turned the Oompa Loompas into a very formidable self defense force despite their small size with her martial arts expertise. With the squirrels added to them this place is virtually cannot be invaded by spies now. Augustus Gloop is now our first human tester of candies after the Ooompa Loompa tests have been successfully completed. In fact the only Golden Ticket Winner not sharing in the fun here at Mr. Wonka's now is Barrigan's cousin Veruca. She's a "bad nut" that the squirrels will dispose of again on sight if she comes here again."

"I know all about yours and Mr Wonka's squirrels." Barrigan snapped back. "And you won't get me in that nut room with them Charlie inferior peasant Bucket."

"Enough of that." Mr. Turkentine snapped at Barrigan. "I'm just as likely to use the duct tape on a snooty and bigoted mouth as a dirty one."

"The Nut Sorting Room is off limits today because you are an already known "bad nut" and the incinerator is lit today." Charlie returned to Barrigan. "And anyway we can't have the squirrels wasting time trying to throw you down the garbage chute even if it wasn't with the Christmas shopping season coming up. They are needed to sort and open the nuts for our boxed Christmas chocolates lines." Then Charlie said to the five kids in the tour and Mr. Turkentine, "Any questions.".

"Yes." Melenie asked. "What is this Junior Woodchuck thing with the taffy you cook up."

"It is a Scout like organization from one of the places we deliver candy to that I'm a member of." Charlie answered.

"But where is this place." Mr. Turkentine asked.

"Sorry but I'm not at liberty to tell you where this place is at this particular time." Charlie returned. "It is a factory secret between the other three golden ticket winners that visit and help run the factory, Willy Wonka, the Oompa Loompas and myself."

"Then I withdraw the question." Mr. Turkentine said. "I respect yours and Mr. Wonka's confidences."

"Does that uniform you are wearing have anything to do with this Junior Woodchuck business?" Daniel Freidler asked.

"No." Charlie answered. "This is my uniform for the position of First Officer on the Wonkatania, the boat that travels the chocolate river to various parts of the factory connected by it. Since we will be using the boat to get to our next destination and I will be taking the Drummer's position because it is on the opposite end of the boat from any of you and any dirty tricks you might wish to pull on me I felt it more appropriate to wear this rather than my Wonka type outfit for this field trip."

"How come you don't seem to have a parental permission slip for this get together?" Joseph Tedler asked.

"Oh, but I do." Charlie said. "In fact my parents and their parents as well live in the factory with me. You see that little house by the main bridge across the Chocolate River? They are all there now as that's where we live."

"Oh, what a DUMP!" Berrigan shouted. "Definitely an inferior abode for inferior people."

Mr. Turkentine produced the roll of duct tape from his pocket. "One more remark like that, Barrigan P. Salt, just one more." then continued to Charlie, "Will we be able to visit your family on this trip?"

"Not Really." Charlie returned. "Mom and Dad have outside jobs and Grandpa Joe, Grandpa George, Grandma Josephine and Grandma Georgina usually nap at this time. They are very old you know. However you can explore the other parts of the room other than the house and the fenced off areas and try any of the candies you wish. You can even try some of the river chocolate that is not in the river itself. You will mainly find it in the assorted candy balls and pumpkins that can be found throughout the room. Now have a good time and scoot."

Charlie shooed all the other kids off except Melenie.

"You have something rigged here, don't you Charlie?" Melenie asked.

"Yes, but it's not the chocolate river this time. Like I said before, its off limits and fenced off."

Just like the last time most of the kids were munching on the various candies available in the Chocolate room but Daniel Friedler had other plans. He felt that if he could force Charlie into a foot race, trip him and dump him over the candy cane fence and into the chocolate river that Willy Wonka would become angry at his river being touched by human hands. This would lead to Charlie's being removed from all his positions at the factory and Willy Wonka eventually dying without an heir. This he would do for the Salts and the Slugworths and he might even be rewarded with a handsome monetary prize by the Black Triangle itself as a freelancer for the action he was about to take. Daniel then ran toward Charlie at full speed.

"Watch out Charlie!" Melenie shouted.

Charlie turned and saw Daniel running at him probably with some intent to force him into a foot race and trip him in mind. He knew at that point it was time to go into action. Daniel had sprung his trap with this action. Charlie ran with all his own strength toward a sleight depression in the swudge grass near the chocolate river. Due to the fact that he was lightweight and was wearing short pants which freed his legs

Charlie jumped the depression easily while Daniel in his jump attempt over it fell right into its center and began to sink slowly into the depression which turned from swudge grass into a mixture of thick melted chocolate and swudge grass.

"What is this?!" Daniel yelled at Charlie, "You have QUICKSAND in a Chocolate Factory."

"Of course we don't!" Charlie returned. "This is a chocolate factory, not a concrete factory which would be the kind that has sand of any kind in it. What you jumped into is quick CHOCOLATE, not quick SAND! There's quite a difference. Basically Willy Wonka allowed me to divert a part of the river that is thickened to a quicksand like consistency and usually goes into pumpkins and candy balls into this depression to set this little trap for you which serves you right for winning your track and field trophies and good PE grades by CHEATING and tripping other runners."

Daniel sank up to his shoulders and stopped as of course it was not Charlie's intent to drown Daniel in the quick chocolate. At this point music that sounded like old 19th century Western saloon piano playing mixed with other 19th century frontier musical instruments could be heard throughout the Chocolate Room.

"Great!" Charlie shouted "it looks like the Oompa Loompas are going to sing us a little song. And since we are studying 19th Century America in history class this month all the songs are going to be to tunes from that time and place."

The Oompa Loompas began to assemble in semi circles around the field trip participants and the quick chocolate pool. One of the old people came out of the house and gradually made his way to Charlie.

"Grandpa Joe," What are you doing up at this time of day?" Charlie asked.

"You know I always like to come out when the Oompa Loompas are singing." Grandpa Joe returned.

With that Charlie, Grandpa Joe, Melenie and Mr. Turkentine started clapping their hands and swaying their heads to the music and the Oompa Loompas began their song.

(Oompa Loompa main song sung to the Tune of

Aunt Dinah's Quilting Party from 1856 by John Fletcher)

Daniel cheated in his track runs, and felt tripping was not wrong,

Daniel Friedler's sunk in the quick chocolate, So its time to say so long.

Yes it's time to say so long, It is time to say so long.

Daniel Friedler's sunk in the quick chocolate, So it's time to say so long.

So Young Daniel was a cheater, and we knew it all along,

And he took a dive in the quick chocolate, So its time to say so long.

Yes it's time to say so long, It is time to say so long.

Daniel Freidler's sunk in the quick chocolate, So it's time to say so long.

Daniel got a silver ticket, but flunked out before too long,

When he took the dive in the quick chocolate, So it's time to say so long.

Yes it's time to say so long, It is time to say so long.

Daniel Freidler's sunk in the quick chocolate, So it's time to say so long.

Daniel tried to trip our Charlie, but he only got this song,

When he took the dive in the quick chocolate, So it's time to say so long.

Yes it's time to say so long, It is time to say so long.

Daniel Freidler's sunk in the quick chocolate, So it's time to say so long.

The music then changed to the standard music for the moral part of Oompa Loompa songs directed at those who fell into factory traps due to their character flaws and misdeeds.

Oompa Loompa doompity do,

I have a perfect puzzle for you.

Oompa Loompa dooma da de.

If you are wise you will listen to me.

Cheating at sports is never right to do,

It could result in a lawsuit or two.

But more than that it will always be wrong.

Tripping and cheating all along.

Makes you look like you can't win.

Oompa Loompa doompity da,

Don't be a cheater, you will go far.

You will live in happiness too,

Like the Oooma Loompa doompity do!

"Wasn't that great?" Charlie shouted out. "The Oompa Lompas are wonderful singers in any musical genre."

"Come off it." Barrigan said. "We know that song and this whole event was rehearsed and you and those little inferior creeps knew what was going to happen at start."

"Then maybe you should be more careful with your mouth from now on." Mr. Turkentine said flashing the roll of duct tape. "You may just trip a trap of your own from me if you don't from Charlie and this factory. Now this is the last time, no more profanity and no more arrogant hate speech on this tour."

Mr. Turkentine then asked Charlie. "Now about Daniel, how do you intend to get him out of the quick chocolate."

"Simple," Charlie returned, "The same way Willy got Augustus Gloop out of the chocolate river."

Suddenly one of the factory pipes came down from the ceiling of the Chocolate Room and sucked Daniel up into it.

"Now where does that pipe go to." Barrigan asked. "Oh, don't answer that, we already know, it is either the room where Willy Wonka makes his most delicious strawberry flavored chocolate coated fudge or the room where you cook up your Junior Woodchuck taffy."

"Neither," Charlie returned. "That pipe simply leads to the main corridor where Daniel will remain till the end of the tour. And now on to the boat and let the field trip continue.

While they walked to the boat the three remaining bullies were talking to one another.

Well that's (*&%+ censored #^%$&^ cookoobird *&^#$) one of us down and three to go." Collin Ridley said.

"Don't worry Collin." Barrigan returned. "Daniel was too impulsive and felt he could do his PE tripping here in the factory in spite of it obviously being rigged against us. Just follow the rules I gave you based on Veruca's experience here and we will get Charlie for Veruca and Willy for the Black Triangle."

Joseph Tedler then entered the conversation. "If you what to help the Black Triangle just keep your eyes open for something to steal for Mr. Slugworth and your mouth shut. You realize that we have the opportunity here to do what no one has been able to do since Willy Wonka shut off this factory to most human employees other than and the Bucket family and the three golden ticket winners who reformed as a result of the traps and Oompa Loompa songs they encountered here. We can put this factory out of business by stealing one of Willy's inventions and having Slugworth produce it.

"But which (blanketyheck *&$%&) one." Collin asked. " A (* *&% censored %*#! ) gobstopper that can last for a year or more won't make any (%?&%$* censored *!&%\$) money and is completely (&*!^% cookoobird &!^$#&* ) impractical. Same for that hair toffee that turns you into a (blanketyheck &!% ) Cousin It and that gum that turns you into a ($*& $! censored) blueberry.

"There must be something in that Inventing room that is safe and ready to go." Joseph said to Collin.

"If there is I'll be the one to find it." Barrigan broke in.

"What's all this whispering about!" Mr. Turkentine shouted. "I would rather you there just keep quiet and let Charlie conduct his tour in peace so we can get back to school."

Finally the field trip / tour reached the boat and boarded it according to Charlie's instruction. Mr. Turkentine and the three remaining bullies were seated under the tail while Grandpa Joe, and Melenie were seated on the stair to the drummer's section under the seahorse head and Charlie took his special seat at the drummers section itself. Once there he took his Wonka hat off and placed it under the seat. Recovering his First Officer's visor cap from under the seat he put that on his head in the Wonka hat's place.

"Why do you have us up in this section of the boat this time." Grandpa Joe asked Charlie.

"Quite frankly I don't trust those three snakes in the back with either of you, even with Mr. Turkentine supervising them." Charlie said then said to the Oompa Loompas rowing the boat. "To the Inventing Room, Foreward."

Charlie than began beating the drum and the Oompa Loompas rowed and chanted in tome with his drumbeats. All on board were treated to the more unexplored sections of the Chocolate Room away from the Bucket house with the chocolate river's artistically stratified banks and the ever taller candy analogs of trees, flowers and mushrooms. The boat then quietly entered the tunnel pipe leading from the Chocolate Room to the Inventing Room.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - The Inventing Room

Like always Charlie and Grandpa Joe enjoyed the roller coaster boat ride to the inventing room wildly and so did Melenie and Mr. Turkentine. The same could not be said for the three bullies however.

"What are you trying to run here Bucket?!" Barrigan shouted out, "A barfing contest?!"

"I'm sorry if you don't like the boat." Charlie returned. "But it is the only way other than the great glass elevator to get to the Inventing Room and Willy's using the elevator in another part of the factory at the moment."

"Is Willy going to one of your secret places?" Melenie asked.

"No," Charlie returned. "I still have total charge of candy deliveries to the secret places since I go to one of them every week for the Junior Woodchuck meeting. Willy and the great glass elevator are simply in another room of the factory."

"I would guess that other room is the Television Room where he can spy on our "friends" in the back of the boat with that closed circuit system you told me about." Melenie said.

"And you would be right." returned Charlie. "At least two of those kids are tied with the Slugworths and the Salts and Willy is very concerned for both the factory's and my sake about their being here. I don't worry however because Willy, Mike and I have something really great cooked up for the Salt kid and the Slugworth employee's kid."

"By Mike, you mean Mike Teavee from the original golden ticket tour, don't you." Melenie asked.

"Yes," he's waiting in the wings to set the trap on the Slugworth employee's kid. Slugworth had some professional hackers try to steal some of Mike's video game ideas and he wanted to be in on the trap for the Slugworth employee's kid for that reason. Mike suspects that this particular kid is also one of the hackers since he's known to be very good with computers as well as a prominent Slugworth employee's son.

"Charlie," Grandpa Joe said. "Do you really think you should be talking about this with your "guests" on this very boat with you?"

"They are in the stern section of the boat and we are at the bow end." Charlie said. "It is highly unlikely that they can hear us speaking in normal voice over my drumbeats and the chanting of the Oompa Loompas."

Finally Charlie's order to stop the boat came and it was moored at the Inventing Room dock.

Charlie was the first off the boat followed by Grandpa Joe and Melenie.

"Now before you get off the boat," Charlie said to the three remaining bullies. "I must ask all of you to check any communications, recording, video or photographic equipment with me before we go in here. That goes especially to Mr. Salt and Mr. Tedler since both of you are either related or are related to known enemies of Mr. Wonka and myself. I also must ask all of you not to touch or taste anything in here as the candies in here have not been fully tested for safety yet. You know what happened to Violet Beuregarde in here during the golden ticket tour."

"For once we had better obey the little Bucket shrimp." Joseph Tedler said to Barrigan. "I for one have no interest in being an involuntary part of Charlie Bucket's Oompa Loompa Wild West Saloon piano hoedown like Daniel Freidler was."

With that Barrigan surrendered his cell phone And Joseph did likewise.

"Collin," Charlie said. "If you have one hand it over. They are staying in the boat and not going in here."

"I don't have one." Collin returned. "My parents won't let me have one because of my so called "dirty" mouth. They're afraid of my using profanity over the phone."

"Then why don't you clean it up?" Charlie asked. "Genuinely intelligent human beings don't have to express themselves with a vile vocabulary like yours."

"Why don't you just mind your own business!?" Collin returned.

Realizing there was no further talking with the bullies Charlie opened the door to the inventing room.

Everything was of course familiar to him. The three course meal gum machine in the very center of the room was shut down for this field trip tour. Due to its current dedication to the production of anti "Vermicious Knid" (Pleasure Island Minion) weaponry it was NOT the inventing room trap this time. However there were loads of other possibilities. The everlasting gobstopper machine and pool occupied the north east side of the room, The fizzy lifting drink machine the northwest, the hair toffee machine the southwest and the lickable wallpaper machine was to the southeast. Other mysterious candies hidden out here included rainbow drops that allowed ones saliva to assume all seven colors of the rainbow with their associated flavors when they were sucked upon, Square candies with faces on them that "looked 'round" when approached and another invention that Charlie was working on with Willy Wonka, raspberry paper kites with durable liquorice string and tails.

Charlie however knew where the trap was but took the tour to the other major sights in the Inventing room first saving the trap for last.

Charlie's first stop for the tour was the everlasting gobstopper pool. Once there he motioned for one of the swimming Oompa Loompas to give him one of the little multi colored balls that shot through the pool and collected at the bottom of it.

"This is one of Mr. Wonka's greatest inventions." Charlie announced holding the little multi colored ball for all to see. "The everlasting gobstopper. It is designed for children like I used to be with very little money. So far these have lasted a year in Oompa Loompa testing without getting smaller. The different colors on them represent different flavors with a new one asserting itself every week so when these are fully ready they will be like having a lifetime's bag worth of conventional gobstoppers in a single one."

"How does Willy Wonka expect to make money off that." Barrigan snapped. "The idea of selling a whole lifetime's worth of candy in a single piece is completely impractical business wise."

"Not so," Charlie returned. "Mr. Wonka solved that particular problem through the idea of issuing new and different flavor groupings every week for these when they are released for sale. That way these will become collector's items like all other durable commodities do. Only these durable collectable commodities will have the added incentive of tasting good when sucked on.

Charlie then took the tour to the southwest. "I tend to think this one is more an invention for adults than children." He announced at the next machine they reached. "This is hair toffee and it is designed to grow hair on the top of the heads of balding persons and a moustache and beard on those who wish to have those facial adornments."

"Enough of this." Barrigan said. "Why not show us that fabulous gum machine that makes gum that turns people into blueberries."

"Sorry, but that machine is dedicated to the production of weaponry against your cousin Veruca's "special security officers" and is off limits to this tour." Charlie returned. "However we have something even more fantastic, follow me if you will." Charlie then headed the tour northwest. There a machine sending clouds of bubbles up its associated smokestack rather than smoke waited.

"This is the machine for making our newest soda pop invention, Fizzy Lifting Drinks." Charlie announced.

"Fizzy Lifting drinks." Melenie said. "What exactly are they?"

"This soda pop gives the drinker the power of flight through the use of a buoyancy producing gas." Charlie said. "However at this time the amount of gas being put into the drinks is still produces too much buoyancy for controlled flight so once again I must ask that no one tries this."

At this point Barrigan pushed Charlie out of his path to the Fizzy Lifting Drink machine violently. "I've had ENOUGH of inferior peasants like you Mr. Wonka and Mr. Turkentine telling me, a SUPERIOR one of the Black Triangle what to do." Barrigan snapped. "I will just take one of these with me for a look see at its ingredients in the Slugworth factory. The power of personal flight will reduce our time table for World government thorough Black Triangle dominance immensely."

Barrigan immediately grabbed one of the filled bottles of Fizzy Lifting Drink and was immediately sprayed from the machine getting soaking wet in the process. It was then that another property of the fizzy lifting gas became known. It could be absorbed through the skin. Barrigan P. Salt then started rising. At first he gloried in this but when he saw that he couldn't get down even by the most vigorous swimming motions he realized that this Fizzy Lifting Drink was Charlie's trap for this room. He in effect was going up and out without the aid of the great glass elevator. He was only stopped by some netting put into the chimney above the Fizzy Lifting Drink machine by the Oompa Loompas before the new tour began. A weight attached to the netting closed it up and brought Barrigan and the net floating back to the inventing room floor where it took on the resemblance of a grotesque stringed carnival balloon with Barrigan inside.

Suddenly the Western saloon piano and frontier instrumental music started again with Charlie, Melenie, Grandpa Joe and Mr. Turkentine clapping and swaying their heads in time with it again. The Oompa Loompas then began their second song.

(Oompa Loompa main song sung to the tune of

The Glendy Burk from 1851 by Stephen C. Foster)

Barrigan Salt is an arrogant slug, with the middle initial P,

He always says that the greatest one he is, but soon he is going to see.

That when he starts floating up to the roof, his ego's going to shrink.

He got the boot from the Wonka factory, by the Fizzy Lifting Drink.

Barrigan P. Salt oh, his ego's going to shrink,

He got the boot from the Wonka factory, by the Fizzy Lifting Drink.

Barrigan Salt, he tried a little theft, but the whole thing went wrong he'll see,

Attempting to filch the Fizzy Lifting Drink, but that was the second trap's key.

He got the squirt and started to rise, his little plan did sink.

He got the boot from the Wonka factory, by the Fizzy Lifting Drink.

Barrigan P. Salt oh, his ego's going to shrink,

He got the boot from the Wonka factory, by the Fizzy Lifting Drink.

Barrigan Salt, by his arrogant ways, saw his complete path was set,

When he latched onto the Fizzy Lifting Drink, and it got him all soaking wet.

For that drink it was the second trap, what did the Salt boy think.

He got the boot from the Wonka factory, by the Fizzy Lifting Drink.

Barrigan P. Salt oh, his ego's going to shrink,

He got the boot from the Wonka factory, by the Fizzy Lifting Drink.

Barrigan Salt, is getting booted out, his family's in a rut,

Their arrogance and their really wicked ways, have produced another bad nut.

He's been booted out by second trap, and should now see the link.

He got the boot from the Wonka factory, by the Fizzy Lifting Drink.

Barrigan P. Salt oh, his ego's going to shrink,

He got the boot from the Wonka factory, by the Fizzy Lifting Drink.

At this point the music change to that of the moral part of the song

Oompa Loompa doompity do,

I have a another puzzle for you.

Oompa Loompa dooma da de.

If you are wise you will listen to me.

Arrogance will put you into a rut,

And turn you into another bad nut.

A false persona's a lie and a shame.

And you will be the one we blame.

When you help evil to win.

Oompa Loompa doompity da,

Don't fall to hubris, you will go far.

You will live in happiness too,

Like the Oooma Loompa doompity do!

Charlie made a strange call with his tongue and mouth to one of the Oompa Loompas working in the Inventing Room.

"Kindly take Mr. Salt to the main corridor to accompany Daniel Friedler until this field trip is over?" Charlie asked the Oompa Loompa. "We can't have him floating around all over the place and Contaminating the ceilings."

Charlie and the Oompa Loompa exchanged the Saint Andrew's Cross salute of the Oompa Loompas and the Oompa Loompa took hold of the weight holding the net and Barrigan P. Salt to the ground and left the inventing room by another exit with them.

"I thought you said that Only the boat or the glass elevator could get us to the Inventing Room." Mr. Turkentine said.

"From the Chocolate Room, yes," Charlie answered. "The boat and the elevator are the only ways to the Inventing Room from the Chocolate Room. However there are several ways to get from the Inventing Room to the Main Corridor. We will be following the Oompa Loompa that took Barrigan to the main corridor but we will not be going there.

"And just where exactly where will we be going then." Collin Ridley asked again avoiding the more off color parts of his vocabulary.

"That's a secret." Charlie said with a knowing smile on his face. "You will just have to wait and see." He then led the tour through the exit to the inventing room that the Oompa Loompa with the net containing Barrigan P. Salt used. Outside was a long corridor that the tour walked along to its next destination within the Wonka factory.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 - The Factory Office of Doctor Wilbur Wonka, DDS

Upon leaving the Inventing room the remaining participants of the field trip / tour started down the corridor that led Veruca to the nut room and the squirrels combined with three weeks of rotting garbage that was her trap during the Golden Ticket tour. Charlie however stopped them at a ramp leading to an upper level of the

Same direction the Inventing Room was in.

"We have to go this way." Charlie announced. "The Nut Sorting room is located further down this corridor and even with Barrigan P. Salt no longer with us there are still enough "bad nuts" on this field trip to distract the squirrels from their nut sorting and cracking duties. We will go back this way on this ramp past the infirmary center and through Dr. Wonka's office here in the factory to meet the Wonkatania again for the next part of our itinerary."

"Did you say DOCTOR Wonka?" Melenie asked. "I had no Idea Willy Wonka was a Doctor too."

"I'm not referring to Willy Wonka when I say Doctor Wonka." Charlie answered. "I'm refering to his father Doctor Wilbur Wonka, he's a dentist and he's the inspiration behind our new Stevia and Chicory sweetened candy lines for those concerned with their TEETH as well as their waistline."

"You mean that we are going to take a tour of a DENTIST'S OFFICE now?" Collin Reidley broke out taking pains not to let any cusswords out remembering the duct tape in Mr. Turkentine's coat pocket.

"Maybe we will." Charlie answered. "Doctor Wonka is as gifted an inventor in the dental field as his son is in the candy making field. There are several fascinating inventions in there."

The infirmary turned out to be a rather busy place catering mostly to Oompa Loompas with indigestion due to excessive cacao bean eating however once passed this main infirmary area the tour entered into a much more conservative Victorian decorated office with an oak desk as its centerpiece. Behind that desk was a female Oompa Loompa who was familiar to Charlie.

"Hello Doris", Charlie said. "Is Doctor Wonka in today."

"Yes," Doris, who was also known as Carlea Kay said. "But it is not time for your weekly checkup yet, Charlie. Why are you and these children here?"

"We have to go through Doctor Wonka's office on the way to the Wonkatania so as not to disturb the squirrels in the Nut Sorting Room." Charlie answered.

"Oh." Doris said with a rather knowing smile. "This is the new factory tour, Go ahead Charlie. Doctor Wonka will be glad to show these children some of his inventions as he has no checkups scheduled for today.

"So we are taking a tour of a dentist's office now." Joseph Tedler said. His own thoughts continued "Nothing worth stealing here."

However once inside the office the two remaining bullies, Melenie and Mr. Turkentine found themselves in a dentist's office far different from anything they visited before. On the shelves of the office were various types of braces, tooth bonding materials and tooth replacements that were very inventive and innovative in design. It was obvious that Doctor Wonka even developed a taste for the once forbidden chocolate provided it was sweetened with natural non sugar sweeteners like Stevia or Chicory. He was also a valuable aid to his son Willy in finally getting those sweeteners legalized for candy and developing recipes using them successfully in non sugar versions of his popular chocolate bars and SweeTart candies.

In the main surgery of the office this other Wonka himself was present. Wilbur Wonka was a distinguished elder gentleman with silver hair, moustache and goatee beard. He was dress all in white with the red cross symbol of the factory infirmary over his right lab coat pocket. The Oompa Loompas that acted as nurses and assistants also wore a smaller version of the same all white medical uniform with the red cross over the lab coat pocket. Inside the cross was the same conjoined WW symbol that was on Charlie's visor cap and uniform shirt pocket.

"Between Charlie, that Dentist father of Mr. Wonka's and all these Oompa Loompas there are to many uniforms around here to try any stealing." Collin whispered to Joseph.

"None of them are cops though." Joseph whispered back. "Charlie's uniform is just for his honorary position on that crazy boat that runs through this factory and all the rest are purely medical. I won't be stealing here simply because there is nothing worth stealing in a dentist's office. Even one as full of crazy tooth related inventions as this one."

"Hello, Charlie. "Doctor Wonka said. "I see we are having another tour. I didn't know that my new office here was on the itinerary."

Once again there was that knowing smile like the one from Doris that told the two remaining bullies, Mr. Turkentine and Melenie that Doctor Wonka was stretching the truth. This office WAS on the itinerary all the time. A trap for another of the bullies lay here set up by Charlie and the inventive Doctor Wonka.

All of a sudden Collin Ridley's attention was directed at something that did not seem to belong amongst the braces sets on one of the shelves. It resembled a Star Wars or other science fiction movie style space helmet more than anything else. Collin became attracted to the helmet as next to his dirty vocabulary he was addicted to science fiction and science fiction objects.

Finally he asked Doctor Wonka, "What is this Star Wars helmet doing in a dentist office?"

"That," answered Doctor Wonka, "Is not a Star Wars helmet. It just happens to be one of my more inspired inventions designed to cure a very insidious oral disease and I would advise you not to touch it because I believe that you have the disease in question."

"My last dental checkup outside this factory was perfect so I can't see why you think I have some oral disease." Collin returned.

"As I said this particular oral disease is very insidious," Doctor Wonka returned. "So insidious in fact that most dentists don't even bother with it and consider it a purely parental matter. It's called Filthmouthitis and that "Star Wars" helmet as you call it is the cure I invented for it."

"So your Star Wars helmet is supposed to keep me from talking (!*&#^&S cookoobird #%!#*&!, censored) dirty. "Collin said."

"Yes, and you just proved to me that you certainly need it." Doctor Wonka returned.

"Well then lets just see how this works." Collin returned taking the helmet in hand and putting it on.

Almost immediately upon placing the helmet on his head something clamped onto his teeth and the rest of his head and he found that he could not open his mouth correctly for speaking. When he removed the helmet he found himself in a cage style set of braces like the one that Doctor Wonka's son Willy had to wear as a child.

"You just put on a very special automatic set of braces or an Autobrace for short that is the ONLY cure for Filthmouthitis." Doctor Wonka announced. "They keep your mouth locked to a point that you can take in a liquid diet for the duration they must stay on but they will not allow you to speak until you are ready to do so in civilized non profane language ONLY."

Suddenly the Western saloon piano and other frontier music instruments began again.

"YIPPPPPEEEE!" Grandpa Joe shouted having kept quiet for most of the time in Doctor Wonka's office. It looks like the Oompa Loompas are going to sing again. This is my favorite part of these little tour "accidents"."

Doctor Wonka joined in the clapping and head swaying in tome to the music with Charlie, Melenie, Mr. Turkentine and Grandpa Joe this time.

Main Ooompa Loompa song sung to the tune of

Grandfather's Clock from 1876 by Henry Clay Work.

Now Collin Ridley had the filthiest mouth,

That we all could imagine to date.

We can say that it was an open sewer,

Of the most vile cursing and hate.

But he'd soon have to pay, at Doctor Wonka's today,

When the helmet he wore, it was cocked.

And so Collin, put on the Autobrace,

And his mouth was locked.

Collin Ridley's filth mouth is,

Locked up, locked up.

Till he cleans it up it is,

Locked up, locked up.

So Collin, put on the Autobrace,

And his mouth was locked.

Now Collin Ridley, he ran his dirty mouth,

In Wonka's factory on the day.

Of the second grand tour that our Charlie sponsored,

Not knowing in that day he'll pay.

At an increasing rate Collin's mouth spewed filth and hate,

When our Charlie Bucket he had mocked.

And so Collin, put on the Autobrace,

And his mouth was locked.

Collin Ridley's filth mouth is,

Locked up, locked up.

Till he cleans it up it is,

Locked up, locked up.

So Collin, put on the Autobrace,

And his mouth was locked.

Now Collin Ridley tried the space helmet on,

Even though it was sure tempting fate.

So the Autobrace locked and his filth mouth was stilled,

And there's now no more cursing and hate.

He had broken the rule, and the payment's now in full,

As his filth mouth our ears it had rocked.

And so Collin, put on the Autobrace,

And his mouth was locked.

Collin Ridley's filth mouth is,

Locked up, locked up.

Till he cleans it up it is,

Locked up, locked up.

So Collin, put on the Autobrace,

And his mouth was locked.

Now Collin Ridley, he is out of the tour,

For his punishment has come about.

With the Autobrace locked his dirty mouth is shut,

Until no more filth and hate comes out.

Now for him it's to late, He'll be booted out the gate,

With his filth mouth now shut, stilled and blocked.

And so Collin, put on the Autobrace,

And his mouth was locked.

Collin Ridley's filth mouth is,

Locked up, locked up.

Till he cleans it up it is,

Locked up, locked up.

So Collin, put on the Autobrace,

And his mouth was locked.

At this point the music change to that of the moral part of the song

Oompa Loompa doompity do,

I have a another puzzle for you.

Oompa Loompa dooma da de.

If you are wise you will listen to me.

Cursing and hate speech are not really cool,

They make you look like a nut and a fool.

This mouth pollution's revolting and wrong.

Spewing and spewing all day long.

Like an open sewer pipe.

Oompa Loompa doompity da,

Keep your speech clean and you will go far.

You will live in happiness too,

Like the Oooma Loompa doompity do!

With the song ended Charlie again made a strange whistling sound and one of the Oompa Loompa nurses came to him.

"It is time to escort Mr. Collin Ridley to the main corridor with the rest of the of those who have been booted from the tour." Charlie told the Oompa Loompa who responded with the Saint Andrews Cross salute which Charlie returned. The Oompa Loompa then pulled on Collin's pants leg which was his way of telling Collin to Accompany him.

"Now its time for something really special for our last tour participants and their adult supervisors. We will be going to the Loompaland zoo. This is the place where we keep several animals from Loompaland on exhibit for the benefit of the Oompa Loompas so as to remind them of both the beauties and dangers of their original homeland. So on to the Wonkatania."

With that the tour accompanied Charlie to the Wonkatania. At this moment its last bully member Joseph Tedler knew that he was Charlie's special walking target. He silently wondered what Charlie had in store for him at the Loompaland Zoo.


End file.
